Then and Now..

Haven't really been into this space in a long time.. Ventured in after a long time today and saw the last few posts belonging to the '10 things' label. The purpose of putting them up here has been solved and hence moved them onto my private journal. Don't really want to take a chance with those people who i dont approve of, barging in here and reading those posts.

Funny, ain't it? There are times when we do not want people we know to read things we have rambled about. But we have absolutely no inhibitions about strangers/not-so-good-acquaintances reading our innermost feelings and musings :) At least that's the case with me. I don't mind strangers visiting my page and reading up about stuff i have written, its those certain known acquaintances i m apprehensive about.

The past few weeks/months have been eventful. Working from a client location, a trip to Chennai for a colleague's marriage, some dinner parties and pizza treats - gatherings where i enjoyed a lot, finding out time for the loved ones inspite of being on a hectic schedule - life's been happening. And looking back on the past 2 months, i must say i have somehow grown - emotionally and maybe a wee lil bit professionally.. If not upto others' expectations, atleast upto my own expectations.

And now comes something that i really wanted to let out.. The purpose behind opening this blog after a 2 month hiatus. I have been feeling happy, 'contented' might be a better word. Contented about putting my wild, chaotic life into a lil order. It has taken more than a year or so, 15-16 months to be precise, but things have finally fallen into place. I had reached a phase in life when i couldn't really interpret my own actions and there would be times when i would be remorseful of things i might have done on an impulse. It was a phase where things were exactly the opposite of what i wanted them to be..

It took a while to realize and acknowledge that things weren't quite the way they should have been. And then it required a lot of grit to undo the damage. It took a lil bit of weeding and I had to prune out certain things, sow new seeds and nurture them. But now,the efforts have borne fruits. All along the way, i might have hurt a few, left behind people who weren't really meant to be abandoned. But then, i have also extended out my hand and reached out to the ones who needed me. And now when i look back, i realize i've come a long way and i have succeeded in building what i always wanted to have.

My soul will always have the remnants of the past. A few harsh memories, a few broken dreams. But the dark tunnel has almost been crossed and the distant flicker of light i see at the end beckons me to a day, perhaps full of sunshine.. I am almost there. I am content.

Movies Galore -- 1

Been away from blogs for quite sometime.. And evrytime i plan to post one,something comes up. And even when i am absolutely jobless and have all the time in the world to draft a blog, there's the bloggers block. No ideas seem to come to my mind. So as soon as this lame-n-boring idea for a blog came into my mind i decided to draft it no matter how unnecessary a post this might be. So there!

Less work in office and as a result I have been watching lotta movies lately.. Some new ones. Some not-so-new ones.. And some of them pretty old.. So i thought i might as well review them.. Hmm.. "Review" might be too strong a word for what i ll be writing.. Its more like penning down my thoughts about the movie in a few lines..

Here goes..

Khosla ka Ghosla:
Yeah, i think i am the last person on earth to not have watched this movie all this time. Had heard tonnes about this movie. And it lived upto the expectations. I had seen the trailors and the 'chak de phatte' song with all those cheesy dialogues thrown in between and i was expecting this movie to be one which had slapstick comedy and some cheesy-corny dialogues.. It was anything but that.. The pathos of a middle-class family man on being cheated by some hoodlums and subsequently his 'software engineer' son with help from his friends conning the con-man to get back the money, the humour was subtle and understated.. What i also liked was the charecterizations, be it the good-for-nothing elder son,the stereotypical-IITgraduate-S/W engineer-younger son,the home-maker-mom,the middle-class-father.. It was all very real.. Loved the movie.. A thorough entertainer..

Manorama- 6 Feet Under:
This one i should have have watched before in the theatre but thanks to some people backing out, i never got to see it until now.. Ummm.. The movie is good,with commendable performances by all the leading actors.. What i liked the most about it though was the rustic beauty of Rajasthan captured by the camera and the beautiful songs.. The story has nice twists and turns.. All in all a good watch for a lazy evening..

Race:
This is something i could have,should have missed.. But no,inspite of not catching it when it was released i had to go back and see it.. What i liked about the movie? Ummm... That absolutely stunning villa on the mountain top.. Yeah! Thats it! When the movie did end after the impossible no of twists and turns which i cudnt keep count of i was left wondering exactly how the filmmakers reach that preposterous ending after the completely unrelated first few reels..In case u are one of those lucky ones who havent caught it yet u should watch only if you have absolutely no other option on a have-nothing-to-do day.. :)

Identity:
Totally loved this movie and i was left wondering as to why i didnt watch it earlier when it had been on my hard disk for almost the past 6 months. A superb watch if you like thrillers. Although it has been labelled as belonging to the 'psychological horror' genre,there wasnt much 'horror' in it.. But yeah, a gripping movie none-the-less.. And the jewel in the crown in the mind fucking climax.. :D

So there.. M already bored of all the typing.. And there are still 8-10 movies to go atleast.. I guess.. I ll pen down about the rest in the next post... :)

Capsicum-Cucumber-Red Pepper-Corn Salad

Been trying to eat healthy n lose some of the recently gained weight :) Tried this salad last night. came out really well. So sharing the recipe here. :)


SERVES :
2 (for a meal)
4 (as an accompaniment)

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cucumber(medium sized), chopped.
• sweet corn kernel (3/4th cup), boiled n drained.
• 1 capsicum(medium sized), chopped.
• 1 red bell pepper(medium sized), chopped.
• 2 Tbsp white vinegar
• Lemon juice (half a lemon)
  
• 1 tsp cumin powder (roasted n crushed)
  
• 2 tsp mixed herbs(basil,cilantro,parsley)
  
• salt,to taste.
  

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, toss together the cucumber, corn, capsicum, red bell pepper, and vinegar.
   
2. Season with cumin powder, mixed herbs, salt, and lemon juice.
   
3. Cover, and chill at least 30 minutes before serving.

NOTE: U can also add chicken(cooked n shredded) and tomatoes.. And also green chillies or chilly flakes for seasoning.

Tidbits -- II

There was a photo shoot going on at home. Pals wanted a few decent snaps of her clicked. So she got all decked up and then she started posing all around the house. Since we were all goin out somewhere n getting really late cuz of the photo session,the guys got bugged n started bothering us. This one's one of the poses they gave for my camera. Morons!! :D

Weird Tag

This is a break from the "click on the new post link & stare at blank screen for 5 minutes before my attention span runs out" routine.
This is my first tag, picked it up from my external blog & this one seems funnily weird
So here goes...

Rules :
1. Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what.


1.IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?

Bas Ek Pal..
Yeah,dats what I say if I am kinda busy with other things


2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Outshined – Soundgarden
Errr…I m feeling Outshined…
“The grass is always greener
Where the dogs are shitting”—dats how the lyrics go.. WTH :P :P


3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Jaded - Aerosmith
“You've got your mama's style but you're yesterday's child to me”..
Wat is this leading to… :S err…i think this tag totally sucks… : |


4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Whiteflag – Dido
”I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again”
Hmmm…Now we are getting somewhere… Dats exactly what I feel like doing today – wave my Whiteflag in front of my PM..My code has left too much destruction n mess behind..


5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Extreme Ways - Moby
Heyyyy..Now this one’s cool…To take up extreme ways n do things in extreme.. Dats my life’s purpose :P


6.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

What It Is – Mark Knopfler
Heheheh… This one’s good!! Though it doesn’t have anything to do with the lyrics of the song, my motto is the one made famous by Cyrus Broacha (from MTV) – Whatitis(?) accompanied by dat dumb look.. :P


7.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Crash Into Me : Dave Mathews Band
In you my friend
Into your heart Ill beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll

Hmmmm..Nice!! :)

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Tum se hi - Jab We Met
Tum Se Hi din hota hai
Surmayi shaam aati hai
Tum Se Hi Tum Se Hi
Har ghadi saans aati hai
Zindagi kehlati hai
Tum Se Hi Tum Se Hi

Hey dats sweet n very very appropriate!! :D



9.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Chasing Cars : Snow Patrol
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

Tee Hee… :D Yeah.. why not!! I think about doing dat loadsa times.. I mean ‘Doing Nothing’..



10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Time of ur life - GreenDay
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

:D

I hope she had the time of her life with me.. :D



11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

If u cud only see : Tonic
Seems the road less traveled
Shows happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt
To keep what you love
Thats what you gotta do..

Ah haan… See see,the thing works.. :D





12.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Shine : Collective Soul
Tell me what will I find
Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me will love be there
Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go

:| Dat _is_ my life story… Dunno anything about anything.. Always going around in circles.. :P



13.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Dust in the wind : Kansas
Yeah …rite… Blown around here n there.. :P


14.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Coming undone : Korn
Err….Ummm… Actually I am of an opinion that they fervently believe that I am coming undone.. Up there!
Mom.. Dad.. Trust me,nothing’s going wrong in my head.. It’s the workload dats making me behave like a psycho..


15.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Superman : Laslo Bane

Muhuhahahahahahah… yeah yeah.. I m a superman(woman!)…

Err.. The song actually goes : I am ‘no’ superman.. :$ But WTH.. :P




Phhhewwww…!! There I am done..

The tag sucks… Purely mindless stuff..And I don’t care if anybody takes it or not..


PS: Take it if u are REALLY jobless.. And of course if u listen to GOOD music.. U wudnt wanna jot down a “Ankhiyon Se Goli Maare” somewhr in the list… :D

Musical Musings..

Musing 1 :Have been listening to the music of Jab We Met. And it’s been growing on me.. Funny name for a movie and it stars Kareena Kapoor who i absolutely abhor but i have taken a liking for mostly all the nos in the album. Starting with Mauja sung by Mika which has these peppy beats and some outrageously interesting Punjabi lyrics like - O maahi mera sharbat warga,O maahi tainu ghat-ghat pilaan :) :)
Then comes Ye Ishq Haaye which is a girlie song. Love the way Shreya Ghoshaal has sung it.. Especially the Ho Raama part. A lot of energy in that song. And given my mood right now, identify a lot with the lyrics ;)
Then there’s Tumse Hi which is a pretty soothing and melodious no. Another equally melodious song is the Aao Milo Chalo song.. Then there is this second Punjabi song Nagada Nagada complete with the Bhangra beats. The Punjaban in me loves the foot tappin feel of this song :)
Lastly the classical feel of Aaoge Jab Tum sung beautifully by Ustad Rashid Khan Has nice calming effects on frayed nerves.
On the whole a versatile album worth giving a listen to.

Musing 2: The Who Bheege Pal no from Manorama- Six Feet Under has something very catchy about it. Will recommend it for long drives . Somebody recommended the movie to me. Should give it a watch.

Musing 3: Havent really liked the songs from Saanwariya. They are very similar to the ones from Bhansali’s previous movies Devdas and HDDCS.. Most of them painfully slow.. But then again,dats a totally personal opinion.

Totally-Unrelated Musing 4: Was wondering what Idli would taste like with mint + mustard sauce. Should try it sometime..

Walking away...

This is gonna be mushy n predictable as is expected from me.. N I must also admit, it is heavily influenced by a no of mushy blogs dat I have read till date.. Anyways this is my first attempt at story-writing.. So,bear with me..!! :)

The narration alternates between 2 timelines, an idea I have picked up from a blog I read a few days ago.

So,there u go!






As I walked into the coffee house where we were supposed to meet, I could almost sense my heart fluttering inside me. I was about to meet him after 2 long years.
My eyes swept over the tables looking for him, they stopped at the lone figure sitting at the corner table. The familiarity of the situation choked me..
I remembered the numerous times when he wud invariably arrive at the decided venue almost half n hour before the decided time n then wait patiently for me to arrive..
Some things never change….



We were perhaps meeting for the last time.. Sitting together on that hillock, looking at the lights twinkling below.. We were savoring the last few moments of togetherness.. He was going away the next day.. Far away, to another world.. Away from me… We had had a beautiful relationship. But now it was time to move on..



I went up to the table, tapped him on the shoulder… He whirled around n looked at me.. And then he smiled… the ever-so-familiar smile, the crinkle at the corner of his eyes, the lips pressed together.. I sat down opposite him..
“So how have u been?? Hows life?” he said… I remained silent for a while n then managed to say “I m doing absolutely fine…Life’s good..”
The reality though was far from dat.. I was anything but “fine” without him..
I wanted to hold him by his shoulders, shake him n scream at him “Dis is me u r talking to Shona!! Whats all the formality for????”



A silent tear streamed down my cheeks.. We had always known our story would end some day..
“We are just not meant for each other” he said.. Though he could not give any reason why n neither did I ask for justifications...
"Ya right…." I had said feebly.. I was hoping that the surrounding darkness would swallow up my tears.



“I received ur marriage invitation and I thought I cudnt let u get married to any Tom,Dick or Harry.. So I asked u to meet up cuz I wanted to get the details of the dick u r getting married to!!!” He laughed.

How can somebody change so much… was this the same man who used to be so overprotective abt me dat he cudnt bear me mentioning the name of another man in front of him.. What happened to all that love, all the possessiveness??

“His name is Rachit. He is a manager in Infocomm. Posted in Gurgaaon. So I will have to get relocated to Gurgaaon. Papa-Ma thought he was a perfect match for me. Well educated, settled, earning well. They cudnt ask for more.. I have met him. He is an interesting guy. I think we r gonna be ok together.”
Yeah.. We ll be just ok together.. With u, me n u would have been magnificent together..!!



It was not that he hadn’t seen me crying.. I had spent long nights crying in his arms..

But crying now would mean showing my weakness. N I dint wanna do that. It was what we had been doing all the time.. Hiding our weakness, our vulnerability, our love for each other.. Faking a strength of mind which we both knew did not exist..



We talked about a few things. About what he had been doing all this while.. The conversation was predictable n formal…

I looked at the only man I had ever loved n I wondered what was it that did not make it possible for us to be together for a lifetime.. Was it the fact dat that both of us were cowards who were not ready to take the less treaded path of going against our parents wishes and marrying each other..?? Or was it that we dint love each other enough.. May be we wudnt have let go so easily had we loved each other truly…



He kissed me lightly.. And then he got up, dusted his clothes… I knew it was a signal that the meeting had ended.. He wud take me home now.. Drop me there n leave.. Never to come back into my life again…

Why did things have to turn out like this..?? Why?? Why couldn’t those heavenly kisses last forever?? Why cudnt the love last forever??



It was time to leave.

He looked into my eyes, with that sad smile on his face dat used to wrench my heart, gave me dat familiar bone-crunching hug and said, "Have a wonderful life..."

And I turned n walked away not knowing what a life with him cud be like,... what it wud be like to wake up each morning to find him sleeping next to me.. To raise his kids.. To share life’s problems with him..

I was walking towards a lifetime of blaming myself for not having taken a chance with the man I loved..